I’m sure it’s happened to many of you, listening to the radio either in the car or at work and hearing a particular song and thinking, “Damn, this song really should be in Rock Band!” Apparently this happened so much that our friend DrScotto began to reply with simply, “EVERY song should be in Rock Band.” It’s definitely a good argument, but it got a few of us thinking about which songs we would absolutely NOT want to see in the game. We present to you, our top ten list of songs that should never be in Rock Band:
#10 – “Steal my Sunshine” by Len
If you don’t remember this overplayed hit from 1999, then you’re probably considered lucky. The super-nasal vocals and cheery beat were intriguing the first time you heard it, but after a couple thousand more listens the thought of your friends playing and singing this anywhere nearby will certainly lead to homicide.
#9 – “In a Gadda Da Vida” by Iron Butterfly (& Part 2)
This is a unique song for this list as it’s probably what the most people would want to play, it would simply result in the drummers arms falling off and the lyrics are actually performed incorrectly so it’d be a judgment call on whether to grade on the actual lyrics or those that were actually performed. This song would be fun to play, but for the love of god it’s 17 minutes long and there’s like a 9 minute drum solo!
#8 – “Oops, I did it again” by Britney Spears
While this may not be Britney’s first woeful appearance in the music world, it is the one that people remember (and hate) as the most annoying song to come out of her so far. As if having to sing the titular lyrics wouldn’t be bad enough, it’s pretty much a requirement to wear a skin-tight red leather bodysuit while singing it.
Hey, remember Limp Bizkit? Well as much fun as it might be to play in Rock Band, we really couldn’t justify giving Fred Durst any more money.
#6 – “Mmm Bop” by Hanson
This would be higher on the list, but you just know some people would subject their children to playing it. Much like the previous Britney Spears song, the lyrics alone are enough to cause someone lethal amounts of pain.
#5 – “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley (warning: this is a RickRoll)
Of course, this would be one of the ultimate tools in rick-rolling, but that’s just it. This song in Rock Band would be far too powerful a weapon for any human being to wield.
#4 – “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice
Someone pointed out that there are now two versions of this song, but I would argue that it really doesn’t matter which version as both are equally terrible. You’d probably feel like a plagiarist just for playing the bass line of this song.
#3 – “I’ll be There for You” by The Rembrandts
Not an entirely evil song, but the show Friends has pretty much ruined it for all time. Rabid fans of the show would certainly love to play this song over and over again in Rock Band, and they’re probably the only ones (and would be the only ones left in the room as well).
#2 – “Who Let the Dogs Out” by Baha Men
I’d be asking “who let this song out” if it wound up in the game.
This song holds the number one spot on our list because we have quite a bit of confidence that were every song ever performed available for purchase in Rock Band, this song would be one of the least purchased ever. Even then, a large percentage of those who would purchase it can be considered ‘completists’ and would never in fact play the song, except in those rare instances when they are trying to un-make friendships.
